Enochian Rowan

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
literalliterature
carnation-damnation

bisexualshakespeare

[Visual description: A slideshow presentation about what this guy is narrating. It has the words and pictures of the rodents mentions to emphasize how much they will rat you out. The word ‘snitch’ gets bigger as they repeat it.]

literalliterature

[Transcript: 

Note: Voices overlap throughout the video. Voice 2 is in the background, as though providing commentary.

Voice 1: “If I receive word of any partying going on in the campus that I attend, I’m telling. I’m fucking telling.”

Voice 2: [unintelligible] “…that’s so ghetto, what would you do?”

V1: “I will rat you the fuck out. I will be–”

V2: “It’s so ghetto.”

V1: “–Mickey fucking Mouse in this bitch the way I will rat you out. Chuck E. fucking Cheese the way I will rat you the fuck out. Remy Ratatouille the way I will rat you the fuck out.”

V2: “Six fucking nine the way I will rat you out.”

V1: “I will sing like a fucking canary.”

V2: [whistling]

V1: “I will sing like Michael fucking Jackson in the Jackson 5.”

V2: “Earth, Wind and Fire–”

V1: “I will snitch.”

V2: “Sing a soooooong!”

V1: “I will snitch. Snitches get stitches? I will take them bitches. I spent too much fucking money going to this school, to stay in this dorm, to get sent home early ‘cause you motherfuckers can’t follow the goddamn rules.”

V2: “If you think about it, online university is just like the premium version of DeVry.”

V1: “I–I’m not doing Khan Academy from home. I refuse.”

V2: “It’s just kinda ghetto.”

V1: “And I hate the cops. ACAB?”

V2: “I’ll–I mean, ye–”

V1: “ACAB. But I will tell the campus police on your dumb ass.”

V2: “It’s the only time I’ll cooperate with them.”

V1: “Absolutely. I will–I will–”

V2: “Just to get your stupid ass [unintelligible]–”

V1: “–rat you the fuck out.”

V2: “–fucking [unintelligible] apple pie–”

V1: “I’m telling. Snitch! Snitch! Snitch!!! I–”

End transcript.]

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bignaturalsenergy
tiefling-queer

it’ll never fail to amaze me that chessex, the game dice company - like if you bought your first dice set from a game store/comic shop/card shop you most certainly bought a chessex set - has such an ugly and poorly designed website. it looks like they went out of business 15 years ago.

vornskr

i don’t know what’s better, the fact that they only sell five different things and felt like they needed a site map, the single uk location with the giant union jack, or simply the times new roman header which reads:

“The coolest dice on the planet.”  ™

vornskr

THEY HAVEN’T UPDATED THEIR WEBSITE IN TEN YEARS????

vornskr

my mistake, literally every single page you click on has a different copyright date. so far I’ve seen 2001, 2005, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, and most recently 2012. amazing. well done chessex.

tiefling-queer

BUT LANA
HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO ORDER DICE?????

vornskr

you….you have to email them your order form. oh, gods. you…have to type your credit card information. into an email. so they can charge you seven dollars in shipping or 7% of the total order cost if it’s over $100. fuck. if you have questions about the cost of air shipping, you can fax them anytime. jesus christ. oh gods. fuck. fuck me up. chessex. the coolest dice on the planet.  ™

zerofarad

this is another reason why I let my friendly local store make my chessex orders for me

thesongzebrabyonehtrixpointnever

Me: The Chessex website isn’t real and can’t hurt me:

The Chessex website:


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queenqueso

The best part is that this is literally by design

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amazing

patrickdiomedes

oh my god

layyourarmourdown
trans-gothic

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thevoicegrowslouder

There's some company, blackstone, blackwater, something like that, buying up houses that go on sale for 30k above asking price. Immediately outbidding anyone who tries to buy. Corporations are also buying property all across america.

raimagnolia

Fuck...

possumcollege

Nobody comes to my tumblr for this, but Americans need to understand that THIS is why my generation can't afford to own a house outside of Smallest-Town USA. THIS is also why people my age in bigger cities struggle to find decent apartments that don't consume half of our monthly income.

Housing Speculation is when rich folk, corporations, and wannabe landlords buy up property and sit on it like dragons hoarding gold. The Dutch have a dragon-adjacent term for this because speculation devastated their housing market in the 70s-80s leading to some gnarly Dutch squatting culture. They let homes sit empty, good as money in the bank and watch the value increase as everyone else competes for the remaining houses. That's value they can borrow against, that's a few hundred-thousand dollars if you need some quick cash, that's a property you can rent out for regular income while charging tenants for repairs or maintenance and fining them for wear and tear. If property values go up and laws prohibit raising the rent by a certain degree, in many places they can find shady ways to evict that tenant, make no changes and charge the next renter more. It's probably illegal but if you rent to people below a certain income, you can be assured most can't afford to take you to court.

I live in Chicago. Many of the properties that used to house students, small families, single parents, older people, low-income folks have been gobbled up by little airbnb barons who colonize previously well-established neighborhoods and price out families who've lived there for generations because they can't keep up with the artificially inflated property values. The airbnbs spread like cancer until a handful of people can dominate the "affordable" housing for an entire neighborhood. It's gentrification on meth, but without the kind of localized money circulation or community improvements you get when people live and work and spend within their neighborhoods. It pushes residents further and further from services and resources until all that's left is the locked-in commodififation of an exploitable renting class.

If that wasn't bad enough, it also means that when large areas of habitable property are being hoarded by investors with portfolios of empty houses and airbnbs, that reduces the number of actual residents, which can spoil legislation on a community level. When all the storefront space in a neighborhood like mine is controlled by 4 people, you find the number of businesses and services that catered to lower income families start to become whiskey bars, boutiques, vintage shops, and upscale chain retail, businesses that bring money into the property owners at the expense of community accessibility, turning a once largely Hispanic neighborhood community into a posh little destination for travelers, tourists, and other aspiring business speculators who see every empty building as their next revinue stream. Gut a block of apartments with attached commercial space and build half as many luxury condos above a combination tapas bar and day spa and you've instantly got half as many tenants on that block to vote against your expansion schemes. Replacing low-income residents with higher-rent folks also bakes in support for future "improvements" that further contribute to the commodification of communities.

Property ownership has always been a tool of the most privileged class to extract value from the working class because the only options become rent, move, or live on the street for all they care. At which point, the police will sweep you further and further into the gutter until they have an excuse to send you to prison. This kind of speculation and consolidation allows people with excess resources to buy up the things the rest of us require to function and sell it back to us forever.

These are the same people that invented the fairy tale about how if we work hard enough and save and spend like smart people, then we can be landlords too! We can own businesses, raise families, chase dreams and be happy if we are smart like they are. But if we can't it's because we're lazy little parasites who need to have our lives portioned out to us lest we waste time that could be earning money for the landlord.

I hate these fuckers so fucking much.

ralfmaximus

It got so bad in Atlanta that in 2022 they passed a law limiting Airbnb-type operators to two physical addresses, and the owner is required to live in one of them. In addition to that, they are charged an annual permit fee + additional taxes.

It’s an excellent start, but only applies to the city of Atlanta -- not any of the kazillions of Airbnbs in the surrounding greater metro area.

cinnamonzen

"This kind of speculation and consolidation allows people with excess resources to buy up the things the rest of us require to function and sell it back to us forever."

angstymdzsthoughts

Anonymous asked:

I saw a fic where Madam Lan lives because she faked her death and ran away, then she comes back post-canon - she's trying to "rescue" Wwx because she thinks Lwj is just like his father - and the twin jades forgive her without even a second thought. BUT WHAT IF she came back and they didn’t forgive her for leaving them behind? Yes, they understand why she did that, but how can they forgive her for not taking them too when Lxc was the one who had to raise his younger brother because their father never bothered with it and Lqr was a poor excuse of a father figure? When they needed her and she wasn't there, just like their father? And how dare she come back after 3 decades just to basically accuse Lwj of being like his father without any proof? They understand why she did what she did, but she's now nothing but a stranger to them, and they want nothing to do with her.

angstymdzsthoughts answered:

I like this. All I can think of is LWJ silently crying when he realizes that she chose to leave and that she thinks he’s a monster who abuses his husband. LXC, who has been holding back the entire conversation, loses his shit when he sees his baby brothers tears and rips her a new one unleashing decades of repressed emotions.

angstymdzsthoughts

Anonymous asked:

Wen's favorite way of getting rid of people? Throw them in the burial mounds. They die, until they throw in wei wuxian without his golden core. It's actually a form of immunity, the resentment eats at him but it doesn't eat at him with the intensity it would had he possessed a core of spiritual energy. No one knows that ofc. He tames this energy, practices gui dao (the title of mdzs is misleading, as mentioned in the novel, and im doing my part to call it what it actually is, gui dao). It takes him two months to master it and a little more than two months for wens to find their next person to subject to that fall.

Lan Wangji

(Wei Wuxian breaks his fall, seals away his golden core and sets about to take care of him, brainstorming ways to get out of this hellhole faster now that he has company which has a golden core, which will be eaten at a moments notice if Lan Wangji even lets a bit of that seal slip away)

angstymdzsthoughts answered:

Sounds like a solid start to an amazing fic to me.

angstymdzsthoughts

decourb612 asked:

I'm telling you about this idea for a oneshot that I'm writing.JC manages to keep his dogs, but it's because WY is blind. Although this does not prevent him from listening to the animals, WY ends up managing to overcome that trauma with the help of his brothers since JC believes that Jazmín, Amor and Princesa can help him with his disability. The dogs are almost always around WY when JC is out of sight (they are like guide dogs) and keep WY's bullies away from him. (1/?) 🦮No phobia of dogs 🦮

angstymdzsthoughts answered:

Obviously MDY didn’t like this and forbade JC to let his dogs near WY.WY is sad since he can’t have the company of Jasmine, Princess and Love, but he gets over it very quickly when JC and JYL give him his own dog as a gift. This one was small when they gave it to him, but he became big, furry and very affectionate. WY named it “ChengQing.” (2/?) 🦮No phobia of dogs 🦮

The canon goes similar, but we come to the battle against the Wen.WY, JC and the dogs manage to escape as in canon, but JC is caught. He passes the nucleus transplant and here WY barely manages to live after that, since here MDY did not let him exploit his capacity to 100 percent due to his disability. (3/?) 🦮No phobia of dogs 🦮

When WC catches him, Chengqing was with them. The Wens kill his pet and dump them both in the Burial Mounds. Tired, hurt and hungry after a few weeks, WY found nothing to eat other than… 3 months later, YiLing Laozu comes up and has a flute which he named “Chengqing”. Either out of guilt or trying to commemorate someone important to him… (4/4) 🦮No phobias or dogs🦮

-

I DEMAND that WWX brings his dog back as a fierce corpse/hell hound who stays loyal to him even in death, never leaving his side while he hunts down Wens.